Goodbye to My Twenties
Tomorrow, I bid farewell to my twenties and tread into a new decade, and a more grown-up-seeming one at that. Surrounded by ample opportunity to reflect, I have found myself wondering exactly how I’ve grown as a twenty-something. How could I summarise these past ten years? Have I learnt? Have I changed? As a lover of lists, I’ve enjoyed facing these questions by writing where I’ve spent my last ten birthdays, the people who’ve surrounded me, the jobs I’ve had, the books I’ve read, the questions I’ve asked and the new roles I’ve embraced.
Places of My Twenties
Since I turned 20 in Harpenden England, I have had birthdays in Hawaii, Edinburgh, Dublin, Nairobi, Tallinn, Squamish, Seattle, Victoria and Vancouver. I’ve been to 30 countries, spending four and a half years in Canada, three and a half years in England, one year in the US, seven months in Asia and two months each in Africa, South America and Australasia (give or take). I’ve slept on sleeper trains, haggled to ride a camel, met penguins on the beach, sprained my ankle on safari, hiked Table Mountain in Converse, trekked the Himalayas, kayaked in Halong Bay and (terrifyingly) met a humpback whale whilst paddle-boarding.
People of My Twenties
A surprising byproduct of these travels has been a growing longing to stay put, to grow roots, to sustain friendships and to see my family more. I’ve felt homesickness more sharply and found airport goodbyes more upsetting, uncovering a deep value for family and Church. During my twenties I became a sister-in-law, an aunty, a housemate, a girlfriend, a fiancé, a wife and a daughter-in-law. I became “we” alongside Nathan, my companion since 2017 and my (now) husband. In Nathan, I treasure that I have somebody who I don’t have to say goodbye to at the airport.
Questions of My Twenties
Another distinctive feature of my twenties has been questions. I have carried questions with me like hand luggage, picking up new interests and curiosities as I have grown in my faith. I’ve wondered why the Bible narrates more stories of men than women, and what it means to care for creation. I’ve doubted whether God is good or if there is hope, and set my mind to understand what exactly Christians are hoping for. I’ve zealously sought to learn about the connection between Western lifestyle and modern injustice, and have become convinced that living justly is a Christian responsibility. Today, I’d summarise many of these questions into a pronounced interest in Christian living, or how exactly to live faithfully everyday, outside of the sacred stuff.
Becoming “We”
Finally, getting married to Nathan has been to embark on a new kind of adventure. In the space of a day we became husband and wife, but more broadly speaking we’ve been working on becoming “we” since we started dating. Most of my twenties have been spent single, which meant that I began dating as one habitually independent. It has been a curious and novel learning curve to soften my independence in favour of sharing more with Nate. Dating allowed us to dip our toes into adjusting together, but the deepest growth has been in being married. I have enjoyed beginning and ending my days with Nate, the relief of facing life’s tasks alongside another, the zest of good moods and good days, and the privilege to sit front-row to the bad days. I have been surprised to grieve losses too, like the loss of privacy to cry unseen, the odd feeling to stop earning income, and the mental shift of completely sharing money and belongings.
Since August 2020 Nathan and I have been married and living together in our first home, an apartment in Edmonton, Alberta. We have slowly filled our place with furniture (including pressing a new couch into an elevator to the third floor) and have felt more at home here. We’ve created rhythms worth repeating, like feasting on Saturday mornings, running in the afternoons, and reading Bible books aloud every Tuesday. Nathan’s family are close by and we see them when we can. Last Christmas (2020) we were able to go to England to see my family after a painfully long time apart. It was a real highlight to reconnect with my family and to be with them for the first time as a married couple.
